A Guide To
Being Sam

By Coupdepam

Sam Seaborn is a unique specimen of humanity. He once got a letter asking him to donate his brain to a medical school in Grenada. Sam said there were days when he thought "yeah, why not just get it over with?" Maybe that medical school knew something we don't know. So here's your guide to being Sam.
Buy a pair of Armani glasses and during a meeting, at a critical moment, swipe them off either in exasperation or just before you deliver a killer argument. They can be placed down in front of you or, if you’re not at your desk, you can tuck them into your pocket.

Collect an assortment of pill and vitamin bottles and arrange them on your desk. Arrange some of the labels so they are annoyingly unreadable. Never be seen taking any of the contents of the bottles.

Display unswerving loyalty to your friends even when they send you dodgy video tapes or ignore you for virtually a whole season.

If you are going on a journey memorise the route to a ridiculous degree and two or three alternative routes and tell your friends about them.

Do not have sex or form any meaningful relationship with the opposite sex. If you do, make sure it is with the most inappropriate person you can find.





SAM'S STANCES



The Glasses Swipe

          

Most successful when used halfway through making an important point.



The Startled Bunny

          

Not a good move, but can be salvaged if it is swiftly followed by
a glasses swipe or arbitrary finger point.



The Finger Point

          


          

Can be performed with left or right hand and for upward or sideways directions.



Catching the Ball


An essential stance for when things go well.



The Gesticulation

          



A vital part of any argument or explanation.



The Hipster

      

A very successful Pinata Busting pose best adopted when
the gesticulation, glasses swipe, and pointing have failed.




If all else fails just try the smile ~~
a smile like that will get you out of almost anything.







Farewell, Sam