Speaking of the Spokesman . . .


Season One


Pilot


TOBY: "I agree with Josh. And I agree with C.J. And I agree with Sam. And you know how that makes me crazy."

********

MALLORY: "I’m sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?"


A Proportional Response


C.J.: "Sam knows the difference between right and wrong and so do you. Would it make my life easier if he wasn’t friends with this woman? Absolutely. But Sam is a grown up and I don’t get to choose his friends and your readers don’t get to judge them. And I’ll tell you what else, there’s something commendable about Sam’s behavior here, don’t ask me what but there is, and I’m stickin’ by him until the President orders me otherwise and I’m going to look very unfavorably on those who seek only to make us look like fools."


Mr. Willis of Ohio


JOSH: "The President’s daughter, Chief of Staff’s daughter, a Georgetown bar, and Sam. What could possibly go wrong?"


Enemies


BARTLET: "You’re not a little overqualified for a birthday message?"

BARTLET: "It’s his fiftieth birthday. Let’s give it the Sam Seaborn quill. What do you think?"

********

MALLORY: "You’re so exactly like him." [looks at Leo]


The Short List


HARRISON: "Be that as it may, it’s disgusting. We all know you need me as much as I need you. I read the same polling information you do. Seven to ten point bump, 90 votes, unanimous out of committee, I was courted. Now, you have me taken to school by some kid."

Sam reacts to the remark.

BARTLET: "That Sam is young, drives me nuts too, but he took you off for a ride, sir, because that’s what I told him to do."


Lord John Marbury


MANDY: "Sam, I think you are the one senior guy here who is more interested in getting things done than beating the other..."


He Shall, From Time To Time . . .


BARTLET: "Friends, let me have your attention please. A lot of time, energy, passion, wit, skill, and talent went into drafting this, and while you might not know it from my delivery later, this is an extraordinary speech. And I say thee yea! Toby Ziegler, and I say thee yea! Sam Seaborn!"


Celestial Navigation


TOBY: "Something really kinda freakish about you, you know that?"


The White House Pro-Am


CONGRESSWOMAN REESEMAN: "I heard the clang and the 'ow' and figured it must be Sam Seaborn."


Six Meetings Before Lunch


LEO: "I don't mind you dating my only daughter, but you can't expect me not to have some fun along the way."


Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics


TOBY: "Well you're not going to give it to him, Sam, because that would deny me the pleasure of throwing you out through a plate glass window."

********

TOBY: "Mr. President, Sam has always been completely above board about his relationship with Laurie."

BARTLET: "Laurie's the girl?"

SAM: "Yes, sir."

TOBY: "He told us about it right after his first contact with her nine months ago. The fact that she was putting herself through law school, under circumstances that were less than good, has to mean something, as is the fact that Sam's word is unimpeachable."

BARTLET: "Toby, are you in here sticking up for Sam?"

TOBY: "I know it's strange, sir. But I'm feeling a-a... certain big brotherly connection right now. You know, obviously, I'd like that feeling to go away as soon as possible. But for the moment, I think there's no danger in the White House standing by Sam and aggressively going after the people who set him up."


Season Two


In This White House


MARK: "You'll be opposite Sam Seaborn. He's done the show a couple dozen times; the White House wouldn't keep sending him if he didn't keep wiping the floor with whoever's in your chair."

********

JOSH: "Toby. Come quick! Sam's getting his ass kicked by a girl!"

He scurries away and Toby leaps to his feet.

TOBY: "Ginger, get the popcorn!"


The Lame Duck Congress


AINSLEY: "I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to spill anything. I'm not going to get Republican juice on you. I'm just going to sit there and learn."

SAM: "Look..."

AINSLEY: "From the master, Sam, I want to learn from the master."


The Leadership Breakfast


BARTLET: [reads]"That we lost sight of the greater truths.   There's a lot more that unites Americans than divides them.  That's good. There's a lot more that unites Americans than divides them.  [stands up]  Remind me to tell Sam that's good."


Ellie


MORGAN ROSS: "I'm here for a Sam Seaborn scolding?".


Somebody's Going To Emergency,
Somebody's Going To Jail


LEO: "Cause I think you're putting too much faith in the magical powers of a new shirt."

********

STEPHANIE GAULT: "And from everything I've learned you're the only person to speak to about this. That you have the ear of the President."


The Stackhouse Filibuster


WINNIFRED HOOPER; "I-I suppose you're not a complete loser...and you write very well... So when I get out of school, you should come see me for a job."


Season Three


Isaac and Ishmael


JOSH: "This is Sam Seaborn, Deputy Communications Director. Now, don't be frightened when I tell you that in this room, Sam is the knowledgeable terrorism expert."


War Crimes


TOBY: [sighs] "Yeah... You're a good deputy, Sam."

SAM: "What do you mean?"

TOBY: "That."

SAM: [chuckles] "You won money on football today, didn't you?"

TOBY: "Yeah, but I mean it anyway. What can I do for you today? How can I help you out?"


Bartlet for America


ABBEY: "I like some of these new people. I'm gonna miss them."

BARTLET: "Yeah."

ABBEY: [chuckles softly] "Josh Lyman's special. Sam Seaborn's very funny."

BARTLET: "Which one's he?"

ABBEY: "The young one."


100,000 Airplanes


CJ: "They do cover the President. Right now they want you, and I want to give you to them."

CJ: "It wasn't a Vegas act. It was stirring. And I wouldn't hang your head when you say it got the job done. That job was impossible and it had to be done. There aren't ten guys in the country who could write that speech."


Night Five


TOBY: "You probably want to rethink calling me 'baby'."

********

ANDI: "I couldn't help but notice that your fingerprints are all over this too. You and Toby want to be responsible for starting World War III?"

TOBY: "What do you think, Sam and I create foreign policy around here?"

ANDI: "I don't know. You, Sam, Abbott, Costello."


Hartsfield's Landing


BARTLET: "The State of the Union was really something else."

********

BARTLET: "You have a lot of help. You listen to everybody and then you call the play. [rises to his feet] Sam, you're gonna run for President one day. Don't be scared. You can do it. I believe in you."


Dead Irish Writers


CJ: "I can say this about you. You can wear a tuxedo."

SAM: "I know."

CJ: "I know you know."

********

SAM: "Now you think I'd make a good physicist?"

MILLGATE: "No. But you're not bad for government help."


Enemies Foreign and Domestic


FITZWALLACE: "Wait a second! Hang on... You're telling me that foreign policy of this magnitude is conducted through Sam and I'm still alive?"

SAM: "We're pretty impressed ourselves, Mr. Chairman."


The Black Vera Wang


BONNIE: "You like a good hotel gift shop, don't you?"

********

JOSH: "If this was stolen I don't want Sam to end up like the girlfriend of an indicted Senator."


We Killed Yamamoto


TOBY: "I don't want him feeling better. I want him feeling mad. Is there anyone you'd rather have as a blood enemy less then Sam? That's how I want him."

LEO: [smiling fondly] "You know, it was a screw up, but I got to say I love the way he did it ~~ full speed, bam. Like there's a Sam Seaborn-shaped hole in the wall."


Posse Comitatus


TOBY: "I am so . . . proud of you."


Season Four


20 Hours in America, Part 1


LEO: "You haven't had a day off since the convention. You've been up the past two nights and I don't want a zombie."

********

JOSH: "I actually need you to do more than that, Sam. I need you to staff the President. He's got one of those days. Anything ceremonial, security related, or personal, you've leave the room. As it gets later in the day he's going to start to talk to you. You're going to tell him how the meeting he just had with his Council of Economic advisors relates to the meeting he had with the Agriculture Secretary, relates to his intelligence briefing, relates to the environment, relates to jobs, relates to education, relates to the campaign. You're his wide-angle lens."

SAM: "There are going to be any number of areas on which I can't give him expert advice."

JOSH: "Welcome to the club, partner. We got jackets.

SAM: "All right. I'm not going to let you down."

JOSH: "You never do."


20 Hours in America Part 2


MALLORY: "I came by to say hi. I came by to tell you I liked the speech."

********

MALLORY: "This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars? I'm weak."


The Red Mass


JANET: "Sometimes I like to call you cupcake. Is that okay?"

********

JANET: "Wow, you just did a whole thing all by yourself."

********

LEO: "You're one of the big minds of your generation."


Debate Camp


TOBY: "Hey, that was good, Sam. Stay up in his face. Don't back off."

********

TOBY: "See, sometimes if I slam on the brakes, you run right past."


Game On


WILL: "Sam, I swear to God, I'm trying to win an election. I think you of all people would be able to recognize it when you saw it.".

********

WILL: "Tammy, I'd like to buy this old guy a beer. He had a good night."

Election Night


TOBY: "Of course I wrote a concession. You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing."

SAM: "No."

TOBY: "Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What the hell's the matter with you?"


Process Stories


AMY: "He should do it; that's actually what I came here to tell you.".

********

JOSH: "I've been talking to a few people, and...I don't know, I think maybe Sam should run."

********

JOSH: "I think you'd energize the state party. We're not going to let you look like a fool. We won't allow it."

********

TOBY: "Then I think you should win."


Swiss Diplomacy


BARTLET: "You're not going to be used to your surroundings."

********

BARTLET: You lose, you lose, but if you waste this, I'll kill you. I'll just kill you, Sam".


Inauguration: Over There


LEO: "What about Sam?"

TOBY: "A promotion ~~ it's well past time. Make him a Senior Counselor, take the knucklehead stuff of his desk, the way he did for me for four years. Let him concentrate on the President and the country."


California 47th


CJ: "Well, there are some nice shots of you and the President, but the one you're going to see a lot of is you kissing a liberal, pregnant, unwed congresswoman."


Red Haven's on Fire


TOBY: "I'm sorry I missed your rally. That was a hell of a thing you did with the tax plan.".

SAM: "Thank you."

TOBY: "I meant it was really stupid."

********

TOBY: "You're really going to be teaching the seminar on call girl caution? Really?"

********

CJ: "He looks youthful and energetic. Do we have anything he can jump over?"

********

TOBY: "The story's going to be that you actually stuck up for what you believed in, you didn't cut and run. And people are gonna remember that, I'm gonna make sure of it."

********

TOBY: "You're gonna lose, and you're gonna lose huge. They're gonna throw rocks at you next week, and I wanted to be standing next to you when they did."

********

TOBY: "God bless the President of the United States...and Sam Seaborn."








He Said It Right